4th + last one for the night

Do U ever get the feeling that regardless of all the family and friends you might have that you hold close to you that ultimately you'll end up alone?

This crosses my mind a lot. Usually because everybody around you has a different expectation of what's expected to be expressed socially in a family or a friendship. Some people think that not showing up for a gathering at the start of it shows that you don't care. Others might think it's okay to just show up at all regardless of how much time you spend once there. Myself, I think that I shape how I see people in my life according to what they say against other people and expect that I keep that in confidence. I generally try to keep mostly everything that happens between me and others in confidence. Of course, things between siblings, cousins, are probably gonna be expressed between us at least. I don't feel entirely comfortable though with knowing for example what my brother dislikes about our parents and what they dislike about him. I don't particularly like that my opinion is usually brushed aside or thought of as less important because I'm the youngest in my immediate family. I get really worked up, and I lose my train of thought when I'm angry.

yeah, too serious following the post about how I've been a bit serious for the last while. I guess that I fail. Just needed to get that off my mind. Choosing negative behaviors aren't very comprehensible to me but that's just a bias that I continually see before me. It's hard because I see it in people that are around me all the time. It annoys me a bit. Sometimes, just wanna be away from the expectations of others. More often than not, they're unreasonable.